The Night Before Christmas (a gardener's point of view)

Here's another cute Christmas poem for gardeners, reprinted in full with permission of the author, Marianne Binetti  

The night before Christmas (a gardener's point of view)

’Twas the week before Christmas,
and all through the yard,
not a gift had been given,
not even a card.

The tools were all hung,
in the carport with care,
with hopes that St. Nicholas
soon would repair.

The shovel with blade
all rusty and cracked,
the pitchfork still shiny,
but handle it lacked.

When out on my lawn,
(it’s brown and abused)
I could see poor old Santa,
looking confused.

No list had been left
for Santa to see,
no gardening gifts
were under the tree.

But wait there’s still time,
it’s not Christmas yet,
and gardening gifts
are the quickest to get.

You can forget the silk tie,
the fluffy new sweater,
give something to make
the garden grow better.

If she wants a gift shiny,
then don’t be a fool,
it’s not a dumb diamond,
but a sparkling new tool.

If fragrance is listed
you can forget French perfume,
it’s a pile of manure
that’ll make gardeners swoon.

Give night crawlers, not nightgowns,
the type of hose that gives water.
(Anything for the kitchen
is not worth the bother.)

Give a great gift
that digs in the dirt,
it’s better than any
designer-brand shirt.

Now look quick at Santa,
this guy’s not so dumb,
Under his glove,
he hides a green thumb.

His knees are so dirty,
his back how it aches,
his boots stomp on slugs,
(he gives them no breaks).

Santa only works winter,
you can surely see why,
The rest of the year
it’s a gardening high.

Elves plant in the spring,
pull weeds merrily all summer,
in fall they all harvest,
but winter’s a bummer

And so Christmas gives Santa
a part-time employment,
till spring when the blooms
are his real life enjoyment.

So ask the big guy
for garden gifts this year,
Seeds, plants and tools,
Santa holds them all dear.

You see malls may be crowded,
vendors hawking their ware,
but visit a nursery,
stress-free shopping is there.

Now Santa’s flown off,
to the nursery he goes,
and his voice fills the night
with loud Hoe! Hoe! Hoes!**

Merry Christmas from Marianne Binetti

** And speaking of hoe, hoe, hoes. Don't forget that they make great eco-friendly gardening gifts by allowing gardeners an environmentally safe way to remove weeds from the garden.